What being a grandma has taught me about the Father and the Son

Before I was a grandma, other grandparents told me, “Being a grandma is great. You spoil them and give them back.” Or “It was worth it to have children so I could have grandchildren.” I thought this meant that being a grandma would be even better than being a mom, because I would love my grandchildren more, feel greater responsibility, and experience more joy than with my own children. That isn’t what happened.

I love my granddaughter and enjoy giving her kisses, holding her, and seeing her crawl, stand, talk, and wave. But I don’t feel a responsibility to change her diapers, make sure she gets fed, or ensure she gets the right amount of sleep. I am more concerned about how my daughter is coping and growing as a mother. I wondered if I was hard-hearted person or calloused from already raising five children of my own. I asked other grandmas and they said they also don’t feel the same responsibility for their grandchildren that they feel for their children. That is what seasoned grandparents meant when they told me, “You spoil them and give them back.” This idea is affirmed in a statement issued in September 1995 from The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husband and wives–mothers and fathers–will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

When my daughter and her husband leave my granddaughter with me, I do feel an increased connection and responsibility for her. Then I can hand her right back when they get home.

What I’m learning as a grandma has given me more appreciation and awe for my Savior, Jesus Christ. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I believe that God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate personages. They are also one. Abinadi, a prophet from The Book of Mormon taught, “God himself shall come down among the children of men, and shall redeem his people. And because he dwelleth in flesh he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son–The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and Son–And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth” (Mosiah 15:1-4). I can’t pretend to understand the depth of what Abinadi taught, but in simple terms, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are separate beings with the same purpose. Even though Jesus is not the father of our spirits, He is able to feel the same amount of  responsibility for us that our Heavenly Father feels for us. That is because of the Atonement. Jesus Christ suffered for us in Gethsemane, was captured, tortured, and then crucified. In Gethsemane he asked his father, “Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me; nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt” (Mark 14:36). Jesus Christ chose to do the Father’s will and experience all of our pain, sorrow, and sin. He took upon himself the responsibilities of a father so he can love us with the depth of a father. That is why He is both the Father and the Son.

I look forward to seeing my children grow as they have children. I know that no matter what happens in this life–joy, sorrow, heartache, birth and death, I can find solace by praying to my Heavenly Father in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ and both will understand and listen to me.