Notice me: Texts, Facebook status, and literary rejections

We returned home from a family trip in which my daughter did not have access to the internet. The first thing she wanted to do when she got home was to see how many texts she received on her Ipod. I write these blogs so that I can share my testimony and the gospel with those who are interested. I also write these blogs, post them on Facebook, then check my notifications often over the next couple of days to see if anyone commented, liked, or noticed that I wrote something meaningful. Over the last twenty years I've submitted stories more than 200 times to editors, contests, and literary agents. While the over 160 rejections are disappointing, what's worse is when I receive no answer to a submission. Because the publishing industry is swamped with hopeful writers, the policy is often, "if you don't hear from us, then we're not interested."

My daughter was thrilled to receive over 30 texts when she returned, happy that her friends want to be in contact. When someone shares, comments, or likes my blog post, I feel as though I must have worth. And when I receive even a form e-mail rejection, I know that while my writing may not measure up to an agent's desires, I exist. In the old days, when I was a young mom and writing and submitting by postal mail, I loved receiving even one of my SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope), because that meant that someone out there in the adult world knew I was alive.

Now maybe this all seems a bit dramatic, but I've been observing lately that every person wants to be acknowledged. We're all seeking for feedback on the worthiness of our existence. And we mistakenly think that the more we are noticed, the more there will be of us. But the truth is the opposite. The more we give to others, the more there is of us.

The Mormon church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has launched a website called, I Was a Stranger, and in our General Conference meetings over the past week, encouraged us to serve the refugees in our communities. None of us are strangers to our Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ. That includes people who don't speak our language or understand our culture. I am apprehensive but looking forward to learning and helping refugees in my community. I know from my service in the past that there will be more to me when I serve and that the people I come to know are not strangers to God and will no longer be strangers to me.

I have good intentions of being selfless, but I will still be checking to see if anyone likes, comments, or shares my post. Thank you for existing in and filling my life.

https://www.lds.org/refugees?lang=eng&cid=rdb_v_IWasAStranger_eng_IWasAStranger