Do the Three Family Patterns--Prayer, Home Evening, Scripture Study--have a 100% Guarantee?

My parents began raising children in the 1970's. My mom wanted to make sure that she raised successful spiritual children. So with my dad she followed the counsel of the church leaders of the time who encouraged families to follow three patterns: family home evening, family scripture study, and family prayer.

Family Home Evening is a weekly program which includes prayer, a gospel lesson, an activity, and a treat usually on Monday nights. No other church activities are supposed to be scheduled for Monday nights. From the 1967 Family Home Evening Manual the importance and blessings of Family Home Evening are expressed: “Families who prayerfully prepare and constantly hold their weekly Home Evenings, and who work together during the week to apply the lessons in their lives, will be blessed. There will be better feelings between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among children. In such homes the Spirit of the Lord will be made manifest” (Family Home Evening Manual, 1967, p. iii-iv). As I learned from a speaker this weekend at our stake conference (a twice yearly meeting with all the wards or units in our stake) "Family Home Evening should include a short lesson, a fun activity, and a big treat."

Growing up we had daily scripture study at 6:30 am. This was a time to read the scriptures together, particularly The Book of Mormon. We also memorized hymns and scriptures and discussed what we were reading. Recently apostle Boyd K. Packer explained the importance of studying the scriptures: "The scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection. They contain the doctrine and laws and ordinances that will bring each child of God to a testimony of Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer" ("The Key to Spiritual Protection," President Boyd K. Packer, October 2013).

Family prayer occurred after morning scripture study and before dinner. We knelt together and my dad or mom offered the prayer or asked one of us to offer the prayer. We expressed gratitude and asked for blessings. President Heber J. Grant, a prophet  in the 1920's, shared these blessings of family prayer: “I am convinced that one of the greatest things that can come into any home to cause the boys and girls in that home to grow up in a love of God, and in a love of the gospel of Jesus Christ, is to have family prayer. … I believe that there are very few that go astray, that very few lose their faith, who have once had a knowledge of the gospel, and who never neglect their prayers in their families, and their secret supplications to God” (In Conference Report, Oct. 1923, 7–8).

Until recently I thought doing those three family patterns guaranteed successful spiritual children as my mom believed. Now with siblings choosing to not be part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I've been re-examining my expectations. And that's just where I've fallen short, in my expectations. Doing those three family patterns does not take away our ability to choose or as Mormons call it, our free agency. The blessings promised from the Family Home Evening manual were not that all my siblings would always choose to follow the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It said that there will be better feelings among family members and that we would have the Spirit of the Lord. And we did. The scriptures do hold the keys to spiritual protection but studying the scriptures must be an ongoing daily practice. I know that I need the strength and clarity I gain every day by studying the scriptures. I'm able to sort through the doubts and confusion caused by differing views in my family and the world when I study the scriptures. But reading the scriptures when we were children does not take away my family members' abilities to choose now. And Heber J. Grant said of those who never neglect family prayers, very few will lose their faith. Family prayer has to be a practice in our lives even after we leave our parents' home.

What this means for me is that my husband and I will maintain the patterns of family prayer, family home evening, and family scripture study with our children because we want the blessings in our home now. We want better feelings, to feel the spirit, and for our children to love the gospel. And if they choose to continue those practices when they leave our home, their testimonies and conversion will increase.