Censoring your children's media: My perspective

Recently my sister-in-law asked my opinion on if she should allow her twelve year-old daughter to read The Hunger Games. Censoring children's reading is one of my favorite topics so I was happy to give my opinion. Since I write young adult novels and read a lot, I am more liberal about what I feel like my children can read. I am also more conservative than much of the current young adult book industry. And therein is the trickiness of censoring. We all have different opinions. We all have different standards. We are each affected by media in different ways.
I believe parents are responsible for teaching their children and then facilitating independence and responsibility. A parent should always go with how the Spirit guides or your gut feeling concerning your children.
Teach your children to recognize how media makes them feel. Our thirteenth article of Faith, one of thirteen statements about our beliefs, says "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul---We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." Does the book you're reading or the show you're watching help you want to be honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous? Is it lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy? I've come to realize that some violence doesn't affect me as much as sex, especially explicit, and I can't stand torture. One of my daughters realized in high school that she could choose to leave the classroom during movies with violence or suffering even if they were  shown to enhance history or engender empathy.
Children need to learn how to monitor their own media. Recently there was a controversy in our high school over a book. One student wanted the book banned because she felt it was inappropriate. Another student felt like the book had value and shouldn't be banned. What I thought was unfortunate is that many parents got upset and demanded the book be removed from the reading list without reading the book themselves. I had read the book a few years before and could see both sides of the issue. I could see how some of the material in the book might be inappropriate and also that the book had value. The ideal scenario for me would be for students to be given options for books to read and if they begin reading a book or watching a movie and feel uncomfortable, the student can approach the teacher and have the assignment modified. I do realize that there is social pressure and embarrassment and that some students say they don't want to read a book just to get out of the assignment.
After this incident, a committee resolved that teachers would make parents more aware of what their children would be reading, so they could make an informed decision ahead of time. The truth is, even if a list like that is available, I'm not going to read everything my children read or watch every movie that they might see. But I can discuss with my children how they feel when reading or watching a movie and what it might feel like when they are prompted to shut the book or turn off the movie.
Now, having said all that, I do believe parents can set standards and expectations with their children and in their homes. I think it's okay to say, "You can't read The Hunger Games until you're thirteen." I would suggest if you're going to make a statement like that, you should read them yourself before.  You know your children. You have a good idea of what affects them, but you also need to allow them independence and the ability to make their own decisions. I read a lot and still do read a lot. I don't want someone telling me what I can and can't read or watch. Help your children develop that empowerment themselves. There are books I've read or movies I've watched that I shouldn't have finished. There is media now that I don't participate in that I might have years ago. That's the beauty of learning. As Joseph Smith, the prophet through whom the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the latter days, said, "The nearer man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views, and the greater his enjoyments, till he has overcome the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin; and like the ancients, arrives at that point of faith where he is wrapped in the power and glory of his Maker, and is caught up to dwell with Him. But we consider that this is a station to which no man ever arrived in a moment” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, p. 211).
Teaching children is a process, also not arrived at in a moment. We are all capable of being the teachers that our children need when we use the guidance of the Spirit and take time to talk with our children.
While I believe firmly in facilitating independence and an openness with literature, my opinion on censorship of social media and internet access is very conservative and will be addressed in my next post.