My book, Not of This World, is about the end of the world. In the past I thought that before Christ's Second Coming there would be instant global destruction and all the wicked would be killed and all the righteous would live to see Christ. Or that the righteous would be changed in the twinkling of an eye and not have to suffer before Christ's coming. Then as I was writing Not of This World, I thought, "What if the end of the world destruction isn't instantaneous? What if it's gradual, then there's a major destruction or war, and then people are allowed the chance to repent and prepare for the second coming of Christ?"

As I've studied a little more and pondered and recently read a book about one man's visions about the end of the world, I've come to think that it won't be instantaneous and that my previous beliefs were incorrect. But the truth is that I don't understand what will happen before Christ comes. None of us knows exactly how or when it will happen and what will be the circumstances of those living on the earth of the time. We do know that there will be wars and rumors of wars, the children of the house of Israel will be gathered, the elect or very righteous will be deceived, and there will be false prophets (see Matthew 24).

What can we do about the end of the world? We can't avoid it. We can't wish it won't happen. When I fear something or am unable to control or understand, I write a book. That's what I've done with Not of This World. I can manipulate the events and characters the way I want. But I can't manipulate and control the real end of the world. I don't want to fear the end. "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30). I can prepare by following the counsel of the prophet. I can prepare physically by gathering food storage and supplies and getting out of debt. I can prepare spiritually by studying my scriptures, praying, having family prayer, scripture study, Family Home Evening, attending church, and serving others. I can prepare by giving up my will to follow Christ and have Him direct me through the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

I do believe that Christ is merciful and will give us every chance to repent and turn to Him. And that no matter how or when the end happens, we can do all things through Christ.

I struggle with being overwhelmed and stressed with all the good things I need and get to do. This is not just a Mormon problem, but a people problem. I need to make meals, buy food for the meals, clean the house, establish and maintain family and friend relationships, exercise, serve, write, do my church calling or job, volunteer at the school, complete and compile monthly bookkeeping reports, read to my child, study the scriptures, etc. I've addressed this problem in previous posts. I've thought that if I had less to do, if I eliminated responsibilities, I'd be happier. Or even better if other people eliminated those responsibilities for me, I'd be happier. Don't expect me to attend the temple regularly. Don't expect me to organize a fundraiser. Don't expect me to make dinner for my family. Or maybe I need to learn to say no.

In March of last year I wrote about establishing good habits. In the book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, he explains that having a keystone habit allows you to accomplish more. I know that three keystone habits for me are reading my scriptures, praying, and making my bed. If I do those three things every morning, it helps my day go better. And at least the first two are necessary because they help me communicate with God. They are important. But here's another keystone habit that I've tried to eliminate and when I do, I am miserable. Writing. When I write, I'm balanced and everything else seems to fit into place. It's like that object lesson where you fill a jar with rice then try to force in golf balls. It doesn't work. But if you put the golf balls in first, then the rice fills in the spaces. I've seen this object lesson in church many times. This past Sunday our teacher used this visual to teach us why we need to put God first. Why the first commandment is to love God. But I've struggled with how writing fits into putting God first. How can writing be one of they key things I need to do to make everything else fit? It's not scripture study, prayer, serving others, attending the temple. It seems like a selfish need for me. In fact knowing that it's something I need to do, I've felt resentful of everything else expected of me. These feelings or thoughts are selfish, is what I've told myself. So if I gave up writing I would be happier and could do more selfless things.

Many of my friends have said, and I'm sure you've heard this before, you need to do what makes you happy. If Momma ain't happy, then nobody's happy. Do what you love and enjoy and then you can be a good mom. Those sentiments have helped a little, but I've still wondered why writing is such a need for me and why everything else seems to fall into place when I write. This week I think I've figured it out. Big reveal. Actually I still don't know why writing is a need of mine, a keystone habit. But this week I did make writing a priority and I've been able to fit everything else in. I've been happier and more content. And here's why. "As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). When I don't write I have a continual cycle of negative thoughts where I am resentful of everything else I have to do. If only I didn't have to go grocery shopping, I could write. If only I didn't have to volunteer in my son's school, I could write. If only I didn't have to wash and fold the laundry, I could write. It's not that I hate doing those things, but everything seemed to interfere with writing. But it was all in my head. Imagine my husband saying, "I knew that all along."

Before Christmas, my friend and fitness instructor, did an experiment on me in front of the class. I held my arm out straight from my body. She told me to think of something positive, a good thought. I thought of my children and how much I love them and the good relationships we have. Then she told me to resist while she pushed down on my arm. My arm held firm. Then she told me to think of something negative. I thought about my writing and how my manuscripts have been rejected. She pushed down on my arm, and I couldn't hold it up. We finished with a positive thought. I thought about my husband and how much I love him and our good relationship. My arm held firm again. I went home pondering that experience. Did it mean that I should focus on my children and husband and give up writing? No. That hasn't proved successful in the past. I decided it meant that I needed to change the way I think about writing. I need to make it something I do. Not something I fit in when everything else is done, because I will never be done with everything else. A couple of weeks ago when I set my positive intention at the beginning of my workout, I told myself, "I am a good writer." Then guess what? Later that day as I was writing, an agent requested my entire manuscript.

Obviously for everyone, writing is not the habit that will make everything else fit. I'm saying that as we think, that's how we'll act and feel. If I'm continually thinking negative thoughts, then I'll be unhappy. If I'm thinking positive thoughts, faith filled thoughts, I  will be happier. And for me that means thinking of myself as a writer and acting on it.

For the month of December, my thirteen year-old daughter and I made a goal to finish The Book of Mormon. She had already read a few chapters. I started from the beginning. I've read The Book of Mormon many times, but this was the fastest I've read the entire book. I read about eighteen pages a day. In reading the book at a faster pace, I was impressed by two themes.The Book of Mormon is a story about what happens when people follow Jesus Christ and when they don't follow Him. The Book of Mormon testifies of Jesus Christ.
The Book of Mormon is about two groups of people who were led to America before the birth of Jesus Christ. One group, the Jaredites, came to America after the Tower of Babel. The other group, the family of Lehi, were guided to the Americas about 600 B.C. When each of these people came to America, they were following Jesus Christ and His teachings. They were led by prophets who spoke with Christ and received revelation or words from Christ directing the people. They prospered when they kept the commandments. They suffered through wars, pestilence, and famines when they did not follow Christ. Before Lehi died, he counseled  his sons, " For the Lord God hath said that: Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land; and inasmuch as ye will not keep my commandments ye shall be cut off from my presence" (2 Nephi 4:4).
All of the prophets in The Book of Mormon before Christ was born, testified of Him. Nephi saw a vision which included Mary, "A virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins," and then he saw that Mary would bear "the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father!" (1 Nephi 11:15, 21). Because of his faith the brother of Jared, the prophet of the Jaredites, saw the spirit body of Christ. Signs appeared to the people in America when Christ was born, a new star in the heaven and the night before he was born remained light as day (3 Nephi 1:15). After Christ died and was resurrected, he visited the people in the Americas. He taught them the gospel, healed them, and ordained apostles (3 Nephi). All the prophets after Christ testified that He had been born and that the people must keep His commandments. As the people become wicked and tried to destroy each other, Mormon, a prophet was told by Christ, "Cry unto this people---Repent ye, and come unto me, and be ye baptized, and build up again my church, and ye shall be spared" (Mormon3:2). The people did not repent and story of The Book of Mormon ends with the prophet in hiding and all who believe in Christ are killed.
When reading scripture, we should apply the teachings to ourselves. If I want to prosper, I need to keep the commandments. By reading the story in The Book of Mormon, I saw the cycle of righteousness and wickedness. I want to be righteous. I also want to follow Christ. Again, the stories from The Book of Mormon show me what happens when people follow Christ and when they don't. I want to have the faith of the brother of Jared, of Nephi, of Mormon that when I follow Christ, He will direct my life and I will be able to accomplish everything he has in store for me.